Chapter 46

I don't like the atmosphere in the business district. It's like a constant hustle and bustle, noticeably far from being clear. Those who work here are truly amazing, though. Everyone must be striving to survive.

Lunchtime gets crowded. Sitting by the window, watching the passing cars, a thought crosses my mind. He navigates through this world daily. He helped me during the poster shoot, but there's still much I don't know about him. Suppressing this excitement in my chest feels a bit dull.

"Observing people?"

Kanako, sitting across from me, interrupts my thoughts. I shift my gaze briefly and nod. I hadn't intended to express it this way, but articulating this unique emotion is challenging.

Today, she's dressed more calmly than usual. A black jacket with pants – not exactly a businessman's suit, but a stylish and playful outfit.

We're killing time in a cafe that doesn't fit the business district. The reason is clear – we're about to engage in sales activities. Three of us, me and three advertising agency people, going for a pitch. So, I opted for the simplest outfit among my casual wear.

Kanako told me to "coordinate freely," but I didn't have the courage for that. I understand, though. Since I'm selling myself, appearing too plain wouldn't make a statement.

"Or were you looking for him?"

Suddenly asked, I almost spit out my coffee.

"W-Why ask so suddenly?"

"Oh, was that not it?"

"No, it wasn't!"

We're about to visit his workplace. There's no need to search for him now. Kanako knows this, yet she occasionally brings up such things.

I get it. She's teasing in her own way. But I can't hide it. My emotions are thinking about him, who is somewhat distant from here.

Since the day he returned my outerwear, we haven't met. Despite our distance, it didn't feel strange. He's always been on my side, just wishful thinking, but strangely true.

"Recently, you..."

"Yes?"

"You seem so lively."

"...Do I?"

"Yes."

I don't fully grasp it. But this person, despite teasing, generally doesn't lie. So, it's probably her genuine opinion.

Sipping her tea, she looks fitting in this business district. Truly a career woman.

"Are you always single, Kanako-san?"

"Why the sudden question?"

"Just curious about Kanako-san."

"...Well, yes."

It caught my interest. I realized I hardly know anything about her beyond work, seeing her like this. So, I asked.

As expected, Kanako doesn't try to answer. Despite usually asking people questions. Frustrating.

"What does Miina-chan think?"

The answer, intuitively, is a denial.

She's a bit older than me, but her youthful appearance and blonde short haircut suit her well. She must have been attractive. Easily catching one or two men.

"...Divorced twice?"

"Why twice?"

I couldn't help but burst into laughter despite the rudeness. I thought it was too much, but I couldn't find the motivation to correct it. Always being teased, I somehow find it acceptable.

"Haha. I'm sorry."

"Really... Well, it's fine."

I asked, yet I'll wait for her to tell me. Not that I'm eager to force it out.

"By the way, Valentine's Day is coming soon."

"Yeah, it is."

Sipping the coffee, it feels richer and more delicious than the one brewed at home.

When I raise my gaze, Kanako and I lock eyes. She's not grinning, but I can sense her knowing what she's thinking. What she's thinking right now.

"Aren't you giving anything?"

"Is it okay if I do?"

"I don't mind, but..."

A conversation that seemed to say, "If you teased me, I'll tease back." There's no right answer. After all, the fact that I'm killing time here is proof enough.

Even with her, I've become able to exchange light banter. Though she's the president, she sees me like a daughter, so I find myself indulging.

Turning my gaze back to the city skyline.

A bustling scene beyond the large glass. Salarymen crossing the street during lunchtime. Blown by the wind between the buildings, wrapped in an atmosphere that doesn't even let you feel the chill.

"――Ah."

My gaze is stolen. On the other side of the two-lane road, there he is, waiting in front of a food truck. In a suit, though not clearly visible.

Nothing strange about it. His workplace is nearby, and it's lunchtime. He usually says he goes to "Sweet" but today seems different. Still, it feels normal. People occasionally want to try something different.

"Ah――"

But it quickly becomes unsettling.

He's with someone. A woman.

Perhaps a colleague. At this distance, I can't see her face clearly, but undoubtedly a woman, wearing an office skirt. He and she are standing side by side. Similar in age, picturesque.

They're laughing. I can see his face well, thanks to the sunlight. He seems to be making an expression I've never seen.

Come to think of it, I've never seen him talking to another woman. Except for Kanako.

No, maybe I have. It's just that my perspective changed, making me think so. In any case, it hurts. My heart aches.

"Maybe they're lovers."

Yet, she persists. Is she holding onto the fact that I mentioned being divorced twice? If so, I'll apologize, so just don't say anything.

Desperately, I shift my gaze back to Kanako. She's staring at me, her eyes gentle like when calming a child.

"――I think it's strange for someone with a lover to be kind to another woman."

"Is that 'other woman' you?"

"... It's just an example."

I lower my gaze. I escape to the coffee that's now more than half gone. The once kissed coffee is now cold, touching my lips with a chill. If it's the taste of a kiss, it's not a pleasant one.

"It's fine even if he has a lover."

"No, it's not!!"

She grinned when I realized.

"Hmm." lifting her chin, she tried to peek into my chest, so I instinctively covered my mouth to divert her attention.

"Why?"

"Well ... t-that's..."

But there's no way to divert attention with such excuses. However, even if I confess these feelings, it will affect how I'm marketed in the future. I knew that, but my body reacted anyway.

Even if I make excuses, there's no help for it. Even if she criticizes me here, I have no right to retort. An aging woman trying to become an idol. Even though time is already scarce, am I allowed to be preoccupied with such things?

But—Kanako is different.

"You have a good look."

"Eh...?"

"What do you think is the most important thing for an idol?"

Looks, singing ability, dancing ability. The list goes on. But when she asks that, it means it's not about those. Tilting my head, Kanako smiled.

"Sparkle and draw people in."

"..."

"That's what I think is the ideal idol."

"Ideal...?"

"You've already stepped into that."

"I haven't done anything..."

In terms of skills, the Sakura Romance era might be better. But because she said that, I feel awkward.

Sparkling and drawing people in. Can I become such an idol, an artist? At this moment? Me, who gave up being an idol?

I look at him across the road. He's happily laughing. It annoys me. Making such a face. He acts timid in front of me.

"――What would you do if he were right in front of you now?"

She probably asked, finding my annoyed expression amusing. But feeling that this irritation is a good opportunity to vent, I answer without hesitation.

"I'd want to pinch him really hard."

Kanako laughed. Saying me sparkle, while I don't understand well. I don't know, but I hope I can be alone with him. I think such thoughts.

And then he, who was on the other side of the road, is gone.