Chapter 10


TL: Akabane


***


I thought the end of the category Momoka Aimi was truly disheartening. Even though it was limited to fan club members, there were fewer participants than I had imagined.


I guess that is the price to pay for the allegations of infatuation. Although I knew it, it was too sad. Momoka was the most popular person in Sakura Romance. It seems that the office decided that the foundation had been laid for them to do without her.


The only saving grace was the fact that the handshake event was held in a rented concert hall. I felt it was an expression of gratitude to her for leading the group up to this point.


The day started with a greeting from her. I sat in my assigned seat and just listened to her voice. From Momo-chan's point of view, the men in suits were sitting directly in front of her. It was so funny that I thought she might mistake it for some kind of lecture.


Despite me, she apologized anyway. She bowed her head so much that the fans felt sorry for her. One fan called out, "Do your best!" and the hall was filled with Momo-chan's name. Of course, I was one of them.


It was a greeting without singing or dancing, but it was because of my own suspicions. I think I was right to be cautious. It's too bad we won't hear it again.


The handshake session was after that. I would now move to another room and shake her hands in turn. In order to enjoy the last 10 seconds, the idol otaku were trying their best to decipher the woman's mind with their unaccustomed minds.


I was the last one, in the order of the seats I was currently sitting in. That meant I had about an hour to wait. During that time, I would have tremendous free time. I could take a nap if I wanted to.


I closed my eyelids and thought back to the past. I was reportedly in love with Aimi Momoka, met with her alone, got her contact information, and she ended up leaving the group.


It's not that I don't feel responsible. Even if the reports were untrue, she might not have left the group if I had persuaded her. I don't like coddling, but it's a feeling I have because I love her.


Strangely, I didn't care what happened to Sakura Romance. That's why I was a genuine peach carrier. Even though I know now that it's too late.


Ah, I'm suddenly feeling lonely.


I had been through so many things that I had never thought about it calmly. About her end. From now on, she will probably live happily in a place I don't know. It suits her.


She is not suited for SNS. She is not a public persona. But she has an overwhelming charm. Her singing and dancing ability. It is regrettable that she could not make the most of them. Aimi Momoka is the one who should be at the top of the idol game.


"Araki-san!　Please get up!"


I was startled by the voice of a male staff member.


I, who closed my eyelids and fell asleep, hurriedly rubbed my eyes and looked around to find myself alone in a large concert hall.


"Shake hands, Araki-san, this will be the last time."


"Oh, I'm sorry ......."


There was a reason the staff recognized my name and face. Fan club members are required to show identification. The driver's license she picked up for me came in handy. It was ironic.


I looked at my watch and saw that exactly one hour had passed. It seemed that the trip had gone faster than I had expected. I grabbed my luggage and followed the staff. I was a little annoyed that I was walking so fast, but I swallowed it down, knowing that it was not my place to say so, since I had been sleeping.


When I left the hall, a few fans were still in the lobby after shaking hands with her. I could see the expressions on their faces as they soaked up the afterglow. I know that feeling.


It's also a strange fate that I would be the last. I was the one who was responsible for the photo that caused the incident. I wonder what the office would think if they knew that. Well, I don't see them, so it doesn't matter.


"Here's your luggage. Please disinfect your hands."


"Yes, sir."


They check my pockets to make sure there's nothing in them. She is shaking hands with a complete stranger, and there are all kinds of people.


There is always the danger that someone other than the person who likes her will hurt her. If someone brings a knife, her life may even be in danger. So this is the manner of a participant. What the staff says is absolute.


It was like going through the baggage check on an airplane. You are taken directly to a private room. There were two staff members and a security guard. It was more strict than the previous handshaking sessions.


"Ah!　You're the last one!"


And then - Momo-chan. She must be tired, but when she sees the fans, she waves cheerfully, "Hey!"


I approach her without prompting and do a final palm check. If there's anything on it, it's a big problem. After clearing that with no difficulty, I finally get to hold Momo-chan's hand.


"Thank you for coming today."


Her black hair is sleek and long. It's shiny and smells really good. Her makeup is not too thick, and the material is outstanding.


--But still, the face of Yamamoto Miina lingers in my mind. The one in front of me right now is definitely Aimi Momoka. Even though her makeup and hairstyle are the same. I can no longer look at her with the gaze I once had. It was too late for me to realize that.


"Oh, thank you for your hard work."


I tried to be imposing so as not to be noticed, but my voice was trembling. This tension and sense of pressure had never been present at a handshake before.


Momo-chan's hands were thin and soft. That hadn't changed, and I was a little relieved. But when I thought that today would be the last time, my hand tightened a little. I didn't want to let it go.


She wraps my right hand in both of hers. She does the same thing for all her fans, but just now it's like she's monopolizing me, and I feel so superior.


"I'm glad you came."


"Are you okay?　Aren't you tired?"


"Haha. I'm fine. You're very kind."


Usually each person has about 10 seconds. But today it was announced to be about 5 seconds longer. In any case, it would still be short.


Momo-chan said so, but her expression showed signs of fatigue. It made me feel sorry for her. She had to shake hands with hundreds of fans all by herself. Just the thought of it was depressing.


I really wanted to make eye contact with her, but I was too absorbed in her sparkling eyes to say anything, so I felt lame for only looking at her mouths.


At this point, I had digested half of my time. There are only one or two more words I can exchange. If I played it safe, I would end with a thank you.


"You..."


Yes, that's all there was to it.


And yet, what came out of my mouth wasn't a thank you or a word of appreciation.



"Don't you really want to be an idol?"



I could see that her face, which was wearing a peach-colored mask, had become a little upset. Yamamoto Miina's expression came to the surface slightly. But it was only for a moment, and she quickly adjusted her gaze. Quintessential, I should say.


I didn't want to leave anything unsaid because I thought this was the last time. That's all. There was no reason to put on a good face and push her back.


Yeah, that's right. Because I was the one who was involved. I had to say this much to make her feel better.


If she didn't respond to my words, I would be robbing her fans' precious time. Momo-chan stuttered, as if she wanted to say something. This act is a taboo for idols at handshake events.


"--It's time!"


The stripping staff said and gently grabbed both my shoulders. It was the last handshake for me and for her. I was still sad and lonely at the moment when her hands left me.


I left the venue as the staff urged me to leave. I could have at least said a few words to her after I let go of her hand, but I didn't say anything more. I couldn't say anything.


I knew somewhere in my heart that it was probably the last thing she wanted to hear from me right now. She really didn't want to quit, but she couldn't do what she loved because her heart couldn't keep up.


What you love and what you are good at are two different things.


This is true for every human being. The job you want to do and the job you are suited for are two different things, each human being is unique.


God does really bad things. How could God give her such talent and then attach an unsuitable personality to her?


I wonder if there is also the timing of her birth.


I am sure that a long time ago in the entertainment industry, she would have been a godsend.


Ah, I've said that codswallop I hate again. That's how much I was pushing Aimi Momoka.


That's a sad last word. A "thank you" would have been better. I can't believe I'm hurting the memories.


When I left the venue, the sky was burning orange.


If the sky had been blue, I wouldn't have been so sentimental. The feeling of her soft palm on my hand fades into the summer air.



PREV | NEXT