Chapter 21


TL: Akabane


***


Are you mad at me?　I was wondering if I should ask her directly, and she let out a sigh of exasperation as if she had been staring at me for a long time. But that was it.


She doesn't accuse me of anything, nor does she disappear, but simply exists in front of me. I couldn't help but feel as if she was accusing me, "I am here."


The hustle and bustle from earlier is gone, and when I look into the banquet room where the door has been opened, the hotel staff is in the middle of cleaning up the mess.


"Um ...... are you angry?"


"Yes."


The answer was immediate. She was even a little bit angry. I felt like an idiot for having the courage to do it.


I even thought about asking her why. But if I did, I would be told, "Don't you even understand that?"


In all probability, it was because I ran into the smoking room as if to escape.


"I'm not ignoring you."


"I don't think you're ignoring me."


"Ah, no......."


Even if you make excuses that it is just a figure of speech, you will dig your grave even more. I didn't dare to say anything here, but tried to cover it up with a cough.


"Did you have a reason to ignore me?"


I couldn't fool her at all.


She was asking me a question, but I was so scared because there was no inflection in her words. Aimi Momoka, who was so sparkling, is like this when she gets angry. Scary, but cute.


......Not so. Should I honestly say what Miya-san told me here?　She said she should keep her relationship with me thin in order to return to being an idol.


But I knew she would refuse. Because I was avoiding her and this is what she was doing. She probably has the momentum now to tell me it's none of my business.


"I just wanted a cigarette. Nothing more, nothing less."


"Even ignoring my urging?"


It's hard to hear her say that. I'm sorry.


But I have no choice but to be tough with her. The point is, I just need to get through to her that she should leave me alone.


"Well ...... I wanted to smoke a cigarette at that time."


"...... Idiot. Araki-san's idiot."


That's right. I'm an idiot.


I wonder if you can understand this feeling. As a fan, I can't be around you all the time. I'll always be the story somewhere. Both me and her. I don't want that to happen, so if I'm going to pull out, it's now or never.


She turned her back on me and disappeared. All I could do was watch her shrinking backside.


It was frustrating, frustrating, and lonely. I had not felt these kind of emotions for a long time. It was as if I myself was admitting that I did not want to keep my distance from her.


"--That place saved your life, didn't it?"


Now it sounded like a voice that was getting on my nerves.


I turned around to see Miya-san looking at me with a dumbfounded expression on her face. From the way he was talking, he had been watching me the whole time.


"You were watching?"


"Yes. From the beginning."


"Then, please help me. ...... You're the one who told me not to see her."


"No, no, no," she said, scratching her head and smiling bitterly. Her voice echoed in the air, perhaps because we were the only other people in the room. I didn't even want to hear her blabbering.


"She was staring at the smoking area with a terrible expression on her face."


"......"


"And then you came out, and it was like you were convinced."


"It's Miya-san's fault. ......"


If she hadn't been told not to meet in the first place, none of this would have happened. I wonder if this person understands that. ...... Apparently, she doesn't understand. It's obvious from the dumbfounded look on her face.


"If that were on the street right now, it would look like a lover's quarrel."


"Actually, it doesn't."


"Do you think that would go over well with the Weekly?"


I was speechless. If she said that, there was no way I could get Miya-san to talk me out of it.


It doesn't matter if it is true or false. It's a win-win situation anyway.


I don't know how they feel about it, but whether it invades someone's privacy by chasing their ass or discredits them as a news organization, they win by reporting it. Maybe they don't even need credibility in the first place.


"Well, I think it was good that you tried to talk as little as possible."


"...... I hope this was a good idea."


"If you think so, then it was good, wasn't it?"


You really are a selfish person. She's a selfish adult who can only cheat.


"I'm kind of ...... different."


"What do you mean?"


"I mean, it's fine if you're not so proud of ......."


It's an irresponsible statement with no basis in fact. I think so myself. Even though I understand what Miya-san says in my head, but my heart doesn't. I have the selfishness to want to continue this kind of relationship with her, like a friend, forever. I don't care if she calls it a rotten relationship.


"If that girl doesn't become an idol, that might be okay."


"Speaking of which, what about the scout?"


I hadn't seen her until a few minutes ago. I thought she had told me then, but her expression turns into a wry smile. Apparently not.


"I haven't been able to yet. I wasn't in the mood to talk to you."


"Are you saying it's my fault?"


"Did I sound like that?　I didn't mean it that way."


She laughs as she says this. I'm sure she did it on purpose. I can tell. But it's not like she's really thinking it, she's just making fun of me.


I don't think Kanako Miya is a bad person. The reason she has been advising me is to scout her.


In other words, to protect Mina Yamamoto. It's a perfectly reasonable thing for the president of an entertainment agency to get rid of any unnecessary insects while they are still around. I have no intention of becoming such an insect.


"She said she was going to attend the after-party as well."


"She's going to ......?"


"You look happy."


"Does it look that way to you?"


I asked, just to get back at her. Then she laughed. The exchange was full of sarcasm, but it wasn't unpleasant. In fact, it was a little amusing. It was like talking to a bad friend.


If she attend the after-party, there will inevitably be no time for the two of us to be alone. It is too bustling to scout.


"I'm stumped. I'd like to talk to her today."


"Why don't you just call her?"


"It's too bad for her to be in front of so many people."


You're very careful about Yamamoto, aren't you? I'm not sure what to expect. But I don't mind.


"Then I have to go after her. Yamamoto, she's gone."


"...... Are you serious?"


"Yes?"


What do you mean? I subconsciously ask back.


I am sure that my words are based on what Miya-san said. And yet, she doesn't understand it. Or perhaps it's more natural to think that there is something else.


"That girl, she went because of you."


"...... I mean, I should do something about it."


"Yes. It's hard to talk to her if you don't fix her mood, isn't it?"


You're the one who created the underlying reason for the bad mood, though. I don't care what it is anymore. I let out a sigh, at least as defiance, but it didn't seem to work on her.


"I understand. But is it okay if I talk about it?"


"I don't have a choice. I didn't expect her to be like that."


"...... Well, that's for sure."


She looked more like she was sulking than angry. I guess she was so frustrated that I had treated her so poorly.


Well, I used to be a fan who paid to see her. Maybe she doesn't feel so good about that going away.


When I think about it, I feel very sorry, or rather, I feel like I did something bad. I was too attentive to Miya-san, or maybe I listened to her too much.


"I'll catch up with you. Before you get wet from the rain."


"You asked for it."


I bail appropriately and get into the elevator. At any rate, we head for the first floor. At any rate, I have to apologize for what I said earlier. How to explain this, well, I'll just have to think about it then.


The lobby on the first floor was crowded. Not only hotel guests, but also people like us who had just finished a party could be seen here and there.


But once you pass through the automatic door, you will find yourself in a wet world. A lonely-looking back gazes at the dripping drops alone. Even the sight of her was so picturesque that I wondered for a moment whether I should call out to her or not.



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