Cursed, Pure Love [Vol 1 Chapter 1]

Chapter 1: Jealousy

TL: Akabane

***

After the first meeting, the doctor seemed to have decided that it was safe to let Shirayuki see me.

"Meguru-kun, how are you feeling?"

Since the day after Mako's arrival, Shirayuki has been coming to my hospital room every day.

On weekdays, she always wears her uniform. I asked her about it.

"If I stop by the house, I have to take the long way around, so I didn't want to waste time. ......Am I annoyed you?"

She says teasingly.

I'm sure that Shirayuki is "my lover" as far as her words and actions are concerned.

But now that I have no memory, I didn't understand the meaning as much as a beautiful girl I met for the first time after flying to another world suddenly said, "You and I are lovers from our previous lives."

"Mmmmmmm~"

With my left shoulder still hurting, Shirayuki was very helpful in doing my laundry. However, I always noticed that she hummed a little out of tune when she folded the laundry.

(Well, it's adorable in that way.)

As I stared at her with the bed raised, Shirayuki turned to me with a smile.

"Hmm, what's wrong?"

"......Noting."

"Really? Then that's good. ......Humph~♪"

Shirayuki has a little bit of a natural streak in her. And a little slow.

This is not a weakness. It's a strong point.

I don't know how to put it - her relaxed atmosphere is very calming.

I still can't remember anything about Shirayuki, but when I'm with her, I feel warm and comfortable.

She is my girlfriend, who is cute, always trying her best, and devoted to me.

The thought of her makes my heart warm.

With no memories, having her by my side was like a relief at least.

"By the way, isn't Shirayuki doing club activities or going to cram school?"

I asked her just as Shirayuki finished folding the laundry.

These are the two things that come to mind when I think of high school students after school. I'm glad she comes every day, but I don't want to burden her as much as possible. That's what I was thinking when I asked the question.

Shirayuki sat down in the pipe chair by my bed and began to peel the apple she had brought as a souvenir.

"I'm going to cram school, but my mom understands Meguri-kun's situation and ....... So I'm taking a little break."

Shirayuki's mother seems like a kind person. I guess she understands that my anxiety and loneliness is relieved by Shirayuki's visit.

"Mom, huh.......?"

I mumbled vaguely.

The first thing I remember is my parents, which seems the most natural.

However, I still can't remember even the catch.

"What!"

I had a headache. The pain was like a nail piercing the back of my brain.

I have felt this kind of pain many times when trying to remember. The nurse caught me trying to remember while still in extreme pain, and the doctor was furious with me. Each time, the amount of medication was increased, so I avoided thinking about it as much as possible, but now I have Shirayuki.

I asked her with such a feeling of ...... that I would be able to handle the worst of it.

"Shirayuki, where are my parents?"

The fruit knife stopped moving.

"My parents are supposed to take care of me. Shirayuki and I are of the age of working adults, but we still in high school now. It's strange that my girlfriend, Shirayuki, would even take time off from cram school to do it for me, and it's also strange that Shirayuki's parents accept it."

A pain rushes through me at the same time as my heartbeat, "Zukun, zukun, zukun." But I couldn't bring myself to stop speaking halfway and halfway through.

"............"

Shirayuki was listening to my words, staring at me.

"Are you in pain?"

"There's hardly any pain."

"Lies. I've been watching Meguru-kun for a long time, so I understand. He doesn't usually show much of an expression, but if he's making a face like that, it means he's in a lot of pain. Don't you agree?"

It seems that she can easily see through my slight stubbornness.

Shirayuki put down the apple and fruit knife beside her and gently placed her own hand on top of mine.

"Take your time. It's okay."

It's strange. The warmth of Shirayuki's hand seemed to melt away the pain.

"Thank you ....... It doesn't hurt anymore."

When I thanked her, Shirayuki's cheeks turned bright red.

"......Well, I'll leave it to you. I'm your girlfriend and I'll always be by your side."

"Why are you stammering?"

"Well, that's ...... it!"

Shirayuki moved her hands in front of her chest in a jostling motion.

"I thought, "Hey, we're kind of lovers" ...... and then, I felt like I had to respond in a loverly way, but I'm embarrassed. ......"

The reason was so adorable that I couldn't help but laugh.

"Meguru-kun, that's terrible! You didn't have to laugh!"

I guess this is what he meant by smiling.

I must have liked this about Shirayuki.

"Ah! That's right! Let's study, Meguru-kun! Study!"

Shirayuki suddenly said cheerfully.

It was a very deliberate gesture. She was probably trying to change the subject from my parents.

Shirayuki is not very good at lying. But, on the contrary, it is honest and straightforward.

"The doctor asked me to do this. He asked me to study with you. Studying is not related to "acquaintances," so it's likely to be less burdensome, and you'll have less trouble when you go back to school if you study, right?"

"I see. Sure."

It seems that Shirayuki and doctor are closely connected. After Shirayuki came to me, she reported to the doctor what we talked about.

After checking her reaction and the content of the conversation, the doctor gives permission for her to speak. In response, Shirayuki will add more topics to the conversation.

"Well, let's see how much Meguru-kun remembers from his studies."

"Oh."

So, while borrowing Shirayuki's textbooks, I tried to measure my academic ability...

"Ugh...... after all, Meguru-kun is smarter than me....... I wanted to teach him. ......"

"Um, how can I say ...... bad?"

"No, it's not Meguru-kun's fault~"

Shirayuki teased, tracing a circle around the textbook with her index finger.

"Did I get good grades ......?"

"You were in the top ten in your grade."

"Really?"

I was surprised in spite of myself.

"You even remembered what happened two weeks ago, when the accident happened. I'm sure you'll catch up soon."

"Good. By the way, what was Shirayuki's grade?"

"Don't ask me."

Shirayuki turned away.

"............"

"............"

"What are your ...... grades?"

"Um~ I told you not to ask~ ......"

Shirayuki slowly turns around. Her eyes are resentful.

But Shirayuki has a good-natured look to begin with, so she may be angry, but from my point of view, she just looks like she's sulking in a cute and adorable way.

"I guess it's no good."

"Meguru-kun, that's terrible~ I'm trying too, you know?"

She was puffing her cheeks out. It was like a squirrel chewing its food.

"I didn't mean to make you angry."

"Well, it's not Meguru-kun's fault that my grades aren't good, it's mine. I know that, but ....... Meguru-kun has always been very dexterous no matter what I make him do, and Mako-chan is too much of a genius. ...... Ugh~......"

I got teary-eyed again. It seems I unknowingly stepped on Shirayuki's landmine.

I was at a loss for words and scratched my head.

(There's a line that's been bothering me a little. I don't know if I should ask, but ......)

I asked, feigning casualness.

"Is Mako really that smart?"

This was the first time Shirayuki had ever mentioned Mako.

Mako came to me once - she suddenly kissed me and called me her "true love" - and since then, she hasn't shown her face to me. That's why I was curious.

"In the first place, what is the relationship between me and Mako? I was never told about her relationship with Shirayuki, only that we were a lovers. The three of us seem to have known each other when we were in elementary school, but when and where did we meet and how did we spend our time together?"

I was talking too fast for my own good.

I'm concerned about my parents and other things, but I'm equally or more concerned about Mako, whom I met so vividly - especially the meaning of the line "true lover."

"I don't even really understand my relationship with Shirayuki, who comes to see me every day like this, and it feels really weird."

"As for me, I think I can wait until things are more settled. ......"

Shirayuki said as she looked at me.

"If you try to talk about the relationship between ...... me and Mako-chan, it's going to get in the way of doctor's guarded memory."

"Vigilant ......? About my parents?"

"...... That's one of them. Especially since Mako-chan is the closest person to Meguru-kun, there are many areas where he is cautious."

"Closer than my girlfriend Shirayuki?"

"That's ...... yeah, that's right ......."

Shirayuki makes a distant look.

Why does she look so lonely? I don't understand the meaning at all.

Mako said that she is my true lover. I wonder if that had something to do with it.

If so, does Shirayuki know that I was two-timing her?

(No, that's not it.)

If you suspect two-timing, it is natural that there would be more anger and jealousy mixed in at the edges.

Shirayuki is genuinely concerned about me and is taking good care of me. I can't deny the possibility that Shirayuki is hiding it well, but since she is not very good at lying, I don't think it's very likely.

She said something along the lines of "Mako is not two-timing me." I'm not sure if I took that to mean exactly what she said, but I think it's probably the correct answer.

 he fact that Mako is the closest person to me is also a mystery. If she were the closest to me, it would not be surprising if she came every day in place of Shirayuki. But I don't feel that way.

(It's all a mystery. ......)

I'm getting sick of it, even though it's me. I feel like questioning myself in the past.

"You say there's no need to rush, but do you think Shirayuki would prefer if I don't get my memory back?"

"Of course I want you to get your memory back ...... but seeing Meguru-kun enduring the pain like you did just now, it's as expected......"

I can feel that she is thinking of me with all his heart.

Right now, I'm rootless. I don't know who I am because I have no memory. I don't know my roots, and all I can see is what's right in front of me.

(That's why I'm so grateful for Shirayuki's kindness and support. ......)

Suddenly, I realized that I had not thanked her properly.

"I am grateful to Shirayuki. If it weren't for Shirayuki, I'm sure I would have been worried about my future. I am saved by having you by my side."

"Meguru-kun ......."

Shirayuki murmured with teary eyes and smiled widely.

"Ehehe ....... It's natural. I'm your lover."

"Thank you. But I'm sorry for that."

"For what?"

"That I don't remember anything about Shirayuki."

"............"

I clenched my fists.

"I want to know because I'm saved by having Shirayuki by my side. I'm afraid my head might hurt again, but I need to remember anyway. The sooner the better."

"But..."

"You saw it when you touch my hand just now, didn't you? When you did that, the pain went away. If you want, you can teach me how to do it while touching my hand."

"Meguru-kun ......"

"Then, I think I'll be fine."

Shirayuki said, her expression tightening, "Wait a minute."

She then reached into her bag.

Inside, she pulled out a cherry-patterned notepad.

Shirayuki opened it to the page with the bookmark string and began to think intently.

"What's written on it?"

"Notes from the doctor. It says how much I can talk about."

"Well, I'd like you to tell me at least the parts that I'm allowed to talk about."

"...... Meguru-kun, if you feel bad or anything, tell me right away."

"Okay."

I nodded and Shirayuki gently shook my hand.

"......I think it's better if I don't say anything else, so I'll just tell you the facts from my point of view."

Shirayuki's hand trembled slightly.

I lightly squeezed her hand back to let her know it was okay, and after a pause, Shirayuki began to speak.

"I met Meguru-kun when I was in the fifth grade. Meguru-kun transferred to the elementary school that Mako-chan and I attended."

"I transferred to ......? What the reason ......?"

"Because Meguru-kun's family died in an accident and he was taken in by a distant relative, Mako-chan's family."

With a thump, my heartbeat jumped up all at once.

(─ ─ I see...)

If my parents died in an accident and I was taken in by Mako-chan's family, and as a result I met Shirayuki, then it would be impossible to avoid the topic of my parents if I wanted to know about Shirayuki and her relationship with Mako-chan. That is probably why Shirayuki was so cautious.

The sound of my pulsing heart grew louder.

"Haa..... haa...... haa......"

Oxygen is thin. It was getting hard to breathe.

--- "...onii-chan...look...shellfish..."

--- "……fufu, cute sleep talk"

--- "Did Meguru sleep too?"

--- "Looks like. He's been nodding since a while ago"

--- "Let's go again next summer."

--- "Yes. I hope he get more rest this time."

Yes, that was in the fifth grade.

I remember I felt as if I was dreaming.

On the way back from the beach. I was tired of playing and dozing off in the backseat with my sister, who was three years younger than me. I could hear my mother in the passenger seat and my father driving.

I was surrounded by my parents who were kind to me and my lovely sister, and I was wrapped in a comfortable happiness...

I was suddenly awakened by the deafening sound of brakes.

When I opened my eyes, a car was already approaching.

There was an impact, and although I had my seatbelt on, I was hit hard in the head and body. ......

When I woke up, everything was over.

 ─ ─ I was the only one who miraculously survived.

The cause of the accident was that the driver of the car that crashed into me had been drinking and was driving erratically. That was it.

I don't remember much after that. I barely remember the funeral. I heard later that I was in a daze the whole time.

When I came to, I was taken in by Mako's family.

--- "You were taken in by this house. My name is Mako. I have a later birthday than you, so I guess that makes me your younger sister, but don't get me wrong. We are in the same grade, so it doesn't matter. I don't even think of you as my brother!"

Oh...I see. Oh, right. How could I have forgotten something so obvious?

Me and Mako are brother and sister. But we're not really brother and sister, we're just treated as such because I've been taken in and live with her.

 ───Mako-chan is the closest thing to Meguru-kun.

No wonder Shirayuki says this.

Because Mako is a relative, a formal brother-sister relationship, and a family member of the same age.

"───Are you okay, Meguru-kun!"

"Ha!"

My thoughts are pulled back to reality.

My vision widens and I look around.

White curtains and linoleum floors. It was a familiar hospital room.

And Shirayuki.....

She seemed to have worried me a lot, holding my hand tightly, her face turning blue.

"How long have I been unconscious ......?"

"Just a few seconds."

"I felt like I was unconscious for ...... five minutes."

Shirayuki offered me a wet towel.

I realized my forehead was sweating and slowly wiped it off.

"Shall I call it a doctor ......?"

"No, I'm feeling rather good about it."

"But ............."

I guess I had worried her a lot.

But I wasn't lying when I said I was feeling better.

Now, thankfully, I don't have a headache.

On the contrary, the fog in my head had lifted a bit, and I felt refreshed.

"I remembered my family. I guess I even forgot about my dead sister."

"You remembered that part!"

Both doctor and Shirayuki had used the word "family" but they had never said "sister". They must have been careful.

Shirayuki seemed to be wondering if she should call the doctor, but after seeing the look on my face, she decided that she could go.

"I met Meguru-kun through Mako-chan's introduction. Meguru-kun transferred to Mako-chan's class, but I was in a different class at the time. Mako-chan told me, "I can't have a conversation with him alone, so you have to help me, too."....."

"Conversation?"

"At that time, Meguru-kun, no matter who talked to him, was not in the right frame of mind. ......"

After being told that much, I began to vaguely remember.

My parents and sister died, and reality was a blur. ......

There was no joy, no pain, and even when someone spoke to me, I felt distant and time just passed.

--- "I know you're a dark person, but when people tell you to do something, you should at least say yes."

--- "............Yes."

--- "I admit you're honest, but that's what pisses me off. Oh my God, I can't have a good conversation with you. I'll introduce you to my best friend next time."

--- "............Yes."

--- "Oh my God, you're such a pain in the ass. If my dad hadn't asked me to take care of you, I would have abandoned you a long time ago."

--- "............Yes."

Now that I think back on it, I remember how badly I treated Mako. ......

I think Mako is saying terrible things just as much as she is losing, but that's okay.

The "best friend" that Mako brought home for these reasons was Shirayuki.

--- "Oh, um, I'm Tanzawa Shirayuki. ....... I'm looking forward to working with you. ......"

--- "...........Yes."

--- "Yes, please.."

--- "............Yes."

--- "......Yes?"

--- "...........Yes."

--- "...........Yes."

--- "...........Yes."

--- "Oh, my God, I don't understand! What are you two doing!!!"

I can't quite recall how I felt at the time. I'm sure it's because it was too long ago, regardless of this memory loss.

But I do remember that Shirayuki and I had the same feelings.

Mako is strong-willed and sharp-tempered. Shirayuki is calm and natural. I liked her mild-mannered nature.

"How did Shirayuki and Mako become best friends when their personalities were so opposite? As far as I remember now, I honestly wonder why Shirayuki is Mako's best friend ......."

Whenever I think back about Mako, I feel undeniably impressed by her temperamental nature. On the contrary, I have realized that Shirayuki has been kind-hearted since she was a little girl.

I am sure that Shirayuki was well-liked by everyone around her, while Mako probably often clashed with others due to her strong temper.

When I think about it, I can't help but wonder how Shirayuki became Mako's best friend.

"Haha, it's the opposite, Meguru-kun."

"Opposite?"

"You're the one who made us be best friend."

"......No, that's not going to happen. ......"

"What? Why not?"

"Why? You might say......."

I can assure you that I only recall a few things.

If you ask me which one I would rather be friends with, most people would say Shirayuki.

"Me and Mako-chan met in the third grade when we were in the same class. From then on, Mako-chan was the object of everyone's admiration."

"...... Is that so?"

"Huh, that kind of dullness hasn't changed since before, has it?"

"Dull, huh.....?"

I see, I wasn't aware of it, so I'll keep that in mind.

"Oh, sorry, wait. I'll try to be a little more precise."

"Hmm?"

"Well, basically, Meguru-kun is very sensitive to all kinds of things, even too sensitive. But there is a part of him that doesn't judge people by their faces or titles. He is also surprisingly unaware of himself. It's that kind of pinpointed dullness. Because if you look at Mako-chan, most people would want to be friends with her, wouldn't they?"

"Why?"

"Because she's beautiful no matter who looks at her, right?"

"I see. ......"

I didn't dare deny it because I had always believed that you can't judge people too much based on their beauty or ugliness.

"That's not all! Mako-chan is really great!"

Shirayuki says as if she were a fan.

"She's always first in her studies! And in elementary school, she did more sports than any of the boys! Not only was she cute, but she moved so beautifully and had such great taste in clothes that everyone wanted to be her!"

"That's ...... awesome."

The image of her devilish expression and sudden kiss when I had just regained my memory was too strong for me to take in at once.

"But maybe it's because ....... I was always alone."

"Well, with that personality, I guess."

I was just too busy to think about it.

Because, she may be beautiful, smart, and athletic, but that caustic personality ...... well, she could easily be isolated.

"No, it's not! Mako-chan can say anything and everything, and she's cool! But because she's so awesome, people can't keep up with her or get put off by her. ...... I'm thick-headed, so while I was thinking how cool she is and how much I admire her, I started talking to her, and then she became my friend."

Maybe that's the point. Shirayuki and Mako became best friends.

Listening objectively, I think Mako didn't have any friends after all. Perhaps it was her ability as described by Shirayuki, but I feel that the most important reason was her fierce temper and her high spirit.

Shirayuki accepted all of them with one word, "cool". At least, I don't feel the same way as Shirayuki, so they must be a good match.

"I'm actually secretly proud of the fact that you and Mako-chan are best friends. I can't say it out loud because it would make me feel bad."

Shirayuki proudly held up her nose.

"You know, Mako-chan is so beautiful that just looking at her makes me happy~. If there's one drawback, it's that when I get used to seeing Mako-chan, I get disappointed with myself when I look in the mirror."

She laughs cheerfully.

It seems to be half-true, half-joke.

"No, Shirayuki is cute enough."

"W-What......?!"

Shirayuki froze.

"Mako may be pretty, but she's in a totally different direction. Shirayuki is cute and has a good personality, so if she's bad, you probably more popular than Mako."

When I told her the results of my analysis, Shirayuki's face turned red like a boiled egg.

"Y-Yes, that's not true!"

"But, don't you often get confessions?"

"Not since I started going out with Meguru-kun!"

"You did before you started going out with me, didn't you?"

"Ugh........"

She really seems to have a character that can't lie.

Shirayuki averted her gaze and,

"Well, well, a little ......."

She said, which was definitely not a little.

"But, I have this image that really popular girls are the ones who get confessions even if they have boyfriends. Am I pretty scary or something?"

It's a wonder I don't know my own personality.

Memory loss is weird, after all.

"No, I'm not! Meguru-kun is not scared of!"

Surprisingly strongly, Shirayuki denied it.

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

"Then what kind of personality was I?"

"The same as now, right?"

"Sorry, I want to hear what kind of personality from Shirayuki point of view."

"Calm, objective, but very kind."

Shirayuki's cheeks turned slightly vermilion.

I shouldn't take it as a compliment. It's nice of her to praise me, but I'm sure her words are mixed with greed as a lover.

"Mako-chan is the type who can do everything at once, but Meguru-kun is the type who works hard and learns one thing at a time."

I guess that means Mako is the genius type and I am the hard worker type.

"The only person who can keep up with Mako is Meguru-kun. To give you a simple example, Mako-chan was a model and Meguru-kun was her manager."

"What?"

Model? Manager?

That's a word I had never imagined.

"Mako-chan, she's so popular. That's why it's so hard for her to come to the hospital."

"Oh, so that's what it was. ......"

Thinking about it again, I have an idea. She has a great sense of fashion, and that would explain why she was wearing something that looked expensive even though she was in high school.

"And even so, what's the managerly thing ......?"

"To be precise, it's a part-time job at the office that Mako-chan belongs to, and according to Meguru-kun, it's a scullery maid who works with Mako-chan."

"If it's a part-time job, why go out of the way to make it hard ...... when I could be doing something else?"

"I heard that another person was Mako-chan's manager at first, but Mako-chan didn't like him, so he was replaced by a number of people and eventually by Meguru-kun. ......"

"Oh, I see. I understand."

I had a vague feeling that Mako was, without my subjective opinion, an extraordinary horse.

"Because of that, the two of you are looked at as a bit special in high school. You don't have too many friends. But, you know, that's tremendously awesome. I've always been proud of you two and admired you."

"I see..."

I told her frankly.

"I'm sure that Shirayuki's praise like that has saved me and Mako. I think Shirayuki is liked by many people. Thank you for sticking by us in spite of that."

"Meguru-kun ......"

Shirayuki moistened her eyes and leaned closer to me.

Then she brought her mouth close to my ear and whispered in a whisper.

"I like that kindness of yours, Meguru-kun."

Shirayuki smiled shyly and rubbed her cheeks against my two arms.

"Hmmm.........."

The smell of shampoo tickled my nostrils. The feel of her soft hair and skin is pleasant.

I stroked Shirayuki's head as if I was drawn to her.

Then, as if asking me to stroke her more, she put her head on my lap this time.

"I'm so happy. ......"

Shirayuki rubbed herself against my hand that was petting her head, and moved around like a cat.

Apparently, she loves the feel of my hands and knees.

"Shirayuki is such a spoiled child, isn't she?"

"Hehehe, actually she is. ....... If you've forgotten, I want you to remember..."

And that's when Shirayuki stiffened.

I followed Shirayuki's gaze to see what she was talking about.

"Mako......."

Mako opened the sliding door without a sound and stood there.

Her clothes were still brand new and she was polished to the tips of her toes.

"...... Am I interrupting?"

Shirayuki gulped and got up, turning bright red and wringing her hands in front of her eyes.

"Oh, you know, Mako-chan! No, this is it!"

"There's no need to panic, Shirayuki. You two are lovers, and this kind of behavior, isn't it natural?"

Mako told me this with the same mouth that had previously said that she was my true lover.

I wonder how Mako is feeling right now.

I don't remember saying that she is my true lover.

"Well, yes, is that so?"

"I don't think it's something you show people very often, though."

"Yes, right!"

Shirayuki scratches her cheek with her index finger and turns her head down.

Mako laughs devilishly.

"But, well, it's not so bad, just like a couple of high school students in a fresh and healthy relationship. I wonder if they've at least kissed by now?"

Mako sits down in the pipe chair on the opposite side of the bed from Shirayuki and puts her bag on my bed.

She then begins to rummage through the contents of the bag.

"Yes, yeah~ kiss, kiss, what a ......!"

"...... That reaction, you did, didn't you?"

Shirayuki's face turned bright red and she turned away.

"Oh, um~ I mean, it was just a little bit, or ...... a little bit on the cheek, if you want to ...... think about it."

"───?"

I stared at Mako's face in surprise.

Because, Mako pretended to go through my bag, and slipped her hand under the comforter - she grabbed my hand.

(Mako......!)

I wanted to scream out, but as if toying with me, Mako traced the skin of my hand with her fingertips and slid her own fingers between them.

In contrast to my impatience, Mako was unconcerned.

No, no. Rather, she seems to be enjoying herself.

"It's not going well."

"This, this is just something I did on my own. ...... The question is whether Meguru-kun will regain his memory or not. ......"

"Don't be hasty."

"Yeah, you're right. ......"

After her embarrassment subsided, Shirayuki turned around - and it was Mako who quickly sensed her presence.

Mako quickly pulled her hand out from under the comforter and with a nonchalant expression, pulled out a peach-colored lipstick from her bag and placed it on her lips.

"Mako!"

I glared at her. Naturally, I was trying to show my anger about the earlier hand-holding.

I was upset earlier because it came out of nowhere, but as expected, that behavior in public and in front of my girlfriend Shirayuki was unthinkable.

Even if my true love is Mako...

"What is it, Meguru?"

Mako glared back at me, somewhat angrily.

"Um ...... what's wrong with you two?"

Sensing the disquiet, Shirayuki compares our faces.

Heh, Mako relaxed and brushed her beautifully curled hair.

"Totally, Meguru is such a small vessel. I saw him making out earlier, and he's pissed."

"Oh, oh, is that what you mean?"

When our eyes met, Shirayuki blushed again.

"I'm the one who wants to be angry. I'm the one who should be embarrassed if you show me something like that. Shirayuki, please do it this time when I'm not looking."

"Ahaha, hahaha ......"

It seems that she has reached the limit of her shame.

"Oh, um, I'm going home today!"

Shirayuki shoved her textbooks into her bag at breakneck speed and stood up.

"Why don't you just stay a little longer?"

"Then, why don't you tease me about what you said earlier?"

"Of course I'm going to tease you when I see you being so easy to tease, right?"

"Uuu~!"

Shirayuki glared at Mako, but it seemed she was the wrong actor.

Shirayuki was easily defeated.

"God, Mako-chan's so mean~!"

I watched Shirayuki's back as she ran out of the hospital room.

"Oh, I forgot to mention one thing."

Shirayuki came back, only her face poking out through the sliding door.

"See you tomorrow, Mako-chan, Meguru-kun."

Shirayuki smiled. Apparently, she didn't want to part with angry words.

After saying that, Shirayuki left.

The door automatically closed as it was a hospital door.

After confirming this, Mako turned around and looked down at me in bed.

"She still so adorable, Shirayuki."

"If you think so, then don't tease her like that. Don't you feel sorry for her?

"What are you talking about? I'm teasing her because she's cute."

You have a demon in your heart, don't you?

"I thought you knew, but ... yeah, amnesia."

"To be precise, it seems to be a memory disorder."

"You're still a very detailed man."

As usual, it seems that Mako and I have been talking like this for a long time.

"What was that earlier?"

"What?"

"That Shirayuki was there and you held my hand."

"Oh, about that."

Mako meaningfully traced her peach-colored lips with her index finger.

"Is there a problem?"

"Nothing but problems, right?"

"I'm your 'true love,' so I think it's only natural for me to hold your hand, don't you?"

"...... Is that even true?"

The leeway vanishes from Mako's laziness.

She rested her center of gravity on her right hand on the bed, and glanced at me with her face close to mine.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I say. Mako, I think you're teasing me by calling me your 'true lover' when you're not really my lover."

That's all I could think of at the moment.

Of course, I also wondered if she was lying or telling the truth about whether I and Shirayuki were lovers.

However, I quickly came to a conclusion about Shirayuki.

Shirayuki did not lie. Of course it is true that we are lovers.

Shirayuki is not good at lying, and above all, every word she said, every reaction she had - everything indicated that she was my lover.

But Mako is different. So far, the only lover-like element I can think of is that she suddenly kissed me.

"......Couldn't you tell from the kiss?"

"You like to tease, don't you? I can think of things like, "Let them cut your flesh and break your bones.""

"What's my motive?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you directly if you're lying."

"You don't believe me? You are a terrible man."

Mako slid her hand on the bed and laid it on my right hand.

"That is the kind of thing to say to your true lover? You are the worst. You're a scumbag. You're scum. You deserve to die."

"What?"

Mako pinches my right hand.

The only exquisite thing is that I stop just short of feeling pain.

"Then, what are you going to do, Meguru? Are you saying that I'm not your lover and you want to go back to being just family?"

"......You heard me."

It was my conversation with Shirayuki earlier that reminded me that I am family with Mako. The fact that she suddenly said family was proof that she was secretly listening.

"From where?"

"......Around the time you're started talking about the past."

So we can assume that is almost all of it.

Mako pinched my right hand to the point that it didn't hurt, then stopped, then pinched another spot, then stopped again.

"Then you heard how devoted Shirayuki is, right?"

"Yes."

Mako seemed to acknowledge that Shirayuki is my lover, and Shirayuki didn't hide the fact that she is my lover from Mako. In other words, Shirayuki and I are officially approved by Mako.

"That's right."

"And yet, behind my back, I was Mako's lover? How is that possible?"

"It's true, so it's possible, isn't it?"

"I'm feeling guilty right now for linking my hands with Mako in Shirayuki's presence. I was in too much of a hurry at the time to pay for it, but I shouldn't have connected the chain."

"Common sense says... yes."

"You think there's a reason why it's not common sense?"

"There is. It's in your memory."

"Is that true?"

"Before you start doubting that it's true, you might want to think about how horrible it would be if it were true."

As if trying to tease me, Mako slipped her fingers between mine.

""If I were your true lover,"" she said, "That would mean that while Shirayuki was your lover, you had a reason to believe that I was only your true lover. That's something so outrageous that it's unthinkable according to your current common sense. Do you think it's okay to underestimate that much?"

"What?"

 That's ...... for sure. I'm sure Mako is right.

"It's easy to ignore my words and only take Shirayuki as your lover. But, after you get your memory back, you may feel a strong regret. That's exactly what you'll want to die for."

"............"

This kind of love triangle is not right. If possible, I would like to get rid of it immediately.

But - well, if what Mako says is true - I might have just done something irreversible.

"Mako, are you sure?"

"What?"

"I'm supposed to be two-timing you now, you know? I'm the one who's supposed to hate it."

"...... Well, that's what I was thinking, but ...... I'm starting to think it's kind of not so bad."

"Why?"

"Maybe if you remember, you'll understand."

I clicked my tongue at the conversation that never progressed.

"So what do you think about Shirayuki? Isn't she your best friend?"

"Shirayuki is my only best friend."

"Don't you feel guilty?"

"Guilty?"

Mako laughed mockingly.

"What's so funny?"

"Meguru, I'm affirming the state I'm in. I'm sure it's a delicious state of affairs for you. You can have a beautiful woman like me and a pretty girl like Shirayuki... both of them."

"You call yourself beautiful?"

"Of course."

A frightening confidence. She is certainly a beauty, but when she says it so clearly, it makes me want to say something sarcastic.

"...... Anyway, please act with moderation."

I said with a sigh.

"Moderation?"

"You know, like holding my hand in the presence of Shirayuki."

"Oh."

"Now I have a mountain of memories I can't recall. Then I can't ignore what you're saying."

"Oh, so you admit to two-timing. You're a sweetheart."

"No! I don't know, so I want to treat Shirayuki and Mako with moderation."

"Can you do that?"

"If you don't start messing around with me..."

"That's a load of sophistry."

"At least, I'll try."

"Do you really think you can make me do what you want?"

"I know it's a tough call, but I'm sure it's not a bad thing to make."

"That's true."

Mako pulled her hand away from mine and shrugged.

"Mako, I'm going to repeat myself and ask you again. Why did you hold my hand in the presence of Shirayuki?"

"That was funny, your reaction."

"Even so, isn't that too risky? You told me to never tell Shirayuki that you and I are 'true lovers,' right? You keep my mouth shut, and then you go and do something that might get you found out. It's contradictory, isn't it?"

"I'm giving the ...... chart to that girl."

The memory suddenly comes back to me with a single word that was murmured.

--- "The front is for her. But I'll take the back."

There is a sound. It is the sound of heavy rain and fierce wind.

In the dimly lit room, where only Mako and I seemed to be left behind in the world...

I could taste blood.

"What did you remember?"

When I came back to myself, I saw Mako smiling provocatively at me.

"Let me guess."

"No, thanks."

No headache. And yet, more than the pain, a terrible sense of uneasiness was overtaking me.

"Oh, yeah."

Fear won out over interest, and I forced myself to go back to the story.

"I don't know how much you're telling the truth. But I felt that you were telling the truth about Shirayuki, who you consider as your best friend. So ...... why did you do that?"

"That's exactly why I'm like this."

Mako spat at me as if to say, "What a boring question!" and stood up, slinging her bag over her shoulder. It seemed she was leaving.

"I'm serious, it's not much of a reason."

She sashayed past me, her high heels clacking.

Then, she pulled the sliding door to the side and slowly turned around.

"Jealousy."

PREV | NEXT