Chapter 41


TL: Scaramochi


***


I press the intercom and wait a bit, then I hear her voice in dismay, and the automatic door opens in the same fashion. Since they even call themselves an entertainment office, they must have automatic locks. 


I take the elevator and get off at the desired floor. The interior feels historic in comparison to the exterior. I pushed the button installed right next to the door, and she came out immediately. 


"Welcome." 


She has a smile that looks like it's been pasted on. Of course, I don't expect it to be a genuine smile. 


"Why do you say that so sarcastically......?" 


"Really? It was unconscious, though." 


Then it's even tackier. It would still be prettier if you did it intentionally. No, if you're going to be selfish, you shouldn't have done that from the beginning. 


Oh well. I'm not going to argue with her here, and I'm sure she has no intention of doing so either. 


"Um, I have a delivery for you." 


I put Yamamoto's coat in a paper bag I found at home. I folded it neatly, but I felt bad if it got wrinkled. It's thick and I don't think it will wilt that easily. 


Miya-san looked at it and looked at me again without saying anything in particular. 


"Why don't you go up for now?" 


"What?" 


I had no intention of doing so, so the words came out unintentionally, or rather, I should say the emotion itself. 


"What? You don't like it?" 


"No, I mean, I don't like it. I just came to deliver it......." 


"Right. Well, how about a cup of tea in return?" 


It's not that much to ask. But apparently, she wants to invite me to her house. I don't know what she's planning to do, but I'm sure it's not something salacious. 


So, it must be about Miina Yamamoto, right? Nothing to worry about. I don't even have to see her anymore. So, for me, it would be ideal if I could say good-bye to her here. 


"Come on, hurry up." 


Why is she giving me commands? I was a little annoyed, but I didn't want to disturb the others by talking all the time at the entrance. 


I could probably get away with it if I just ran away, but as an adult, I didn't feel comfortable doing so. But that would be tantamount to denying Yamamoto that day. I decided to think nothing more about it. 


"......Sorry to bother you." 


This is the second time. Nothing has changed from the last time I was here. The smell of the room, the colors, nothing has changed from the day I dropped her off. 


She disappears into the kitchen, and I follow her lead and sit down in the same chair I sat in the last time I was here. I put the paper bag at my feet. I was still unable to cut away the afterimages of Miya-san and Yamamoto, and I was surely left with a sense of regret. 


I put a lid on it and truly took in the aroma of the tea she offered me. I couldn't say that I don't drink much tea. 


"--So, how are you these days?" 


She asked me, sitting across from me, with her cheekbones on the floor. Sipping her tea with one hand, she looked very dapper. She has a unique atmosphere, as if she were the president of an entertainment agency. 


"There's nothing going on. I'm just bored." 


"Heh." 


I'm not lying. This past week has been really boring. On the other hand, maybe I've been too busy so far. I feel like I've been running nonstop from the moment I met her until now. 


Miya-san is not going to readily accept my words. I understand. I knew that she was going to ask me a lot of questions from now on. 


I knew that, but I couldn't refuse. The reason was not because I was concerned about Natsunako Miya. 


"Did something happen with Miina?" 


It hurt. When she put it into words again, it was like my own heart was grabbed and my body wouldn't move. 


It was proof, in other words, that I could not deny her words, 


"Nothing happened." 


Still, I shook myself off and lied. 


It would only make my heart feel empty, and such a lie would produce nothing. But I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth. 


If I did so, surely - I would not be able to cut her out of my life. 


"Lies." 


Miya-san's voice sounds like she's speaking directly to my heart. That's exactly how the pain seems to spread throughout my body, so much so that I can't even taste the tea I sipped. 


There was nothing to deny my words. I thought so, but this person has definitely had more opportunities to meet Yamamoto than I have. That means she knows her better than I do. 


I thought that she might know the whole story of her life. But I wondered if she, who was going back to the entertainment world, would go out of her way to ask such a question. In any case, the timing of the question is too perfect to be scary. 


"You are very judgmental, aren't you?" 


I was taken aback. Very much so. Like a child trying to stand above her, even a little bit, while sighing. 


Miya-san turned up the corners of her mouth as if making fun of me. It was like a mother making fun of her child. It pissed me off a little. 


"Yeah. Isn't that why you came?" 


"......Me?" 


"Yeah." 


I don't know what I'm saying. I just came to return her personal belongings. This is another job imposed on me by the master. It's not my intention. 


But... 


"Oh, no, I mean..." 


-- It was a strange feeling. Even though I knew it couldn't be, I couldn't deny it with words. So I looked away to fool her. 


It was as if I was affirming her words. And yet, and yet. 


"What?" 


A follow-up. Please don't ask me any more questions. Please, I beg you, don't ask my heart anything. I'm in pain and I'm about to let my emotions out, so please, let me just taste this tea right now. 


"--Yamamoto..." 


"Nn." 


(How is she?)


My mind followed my instincts without a second thought. 


I didn't even want to say her name, and yet it came out so easily that I was disgusted with myself. It didn't even get stuck in my chest, it became a word and disappeared into this space. 


"You're blatantly not fine." 


"......" 


"Well, you're fine in front of me." 


"You know what I mean?" 


"It's a piece of cake. I've been telling you this for a long time, but you're both easy to understand." 


Having come this far, I had no choice but to admit it. I've been told this many times before, but this time it was especially persuasive. 


Ah, my head was tired even though I hadn't spoken at all. I've barely even sipped my tea. I let out a sigh. 


A shudder shakes through the table. Her phone brightened. I decide not to think too much about it, thinking it must be a message or something. 


A few moments later, Miya-san laughed again, as if she were dumbfounded. 


"Cigarette, you can smoke. Under the ventilation fan." 


"......Seriously?" 


"I smoke too. I don't care." 


Maybe the mature thing to do here is to refrain. But right now I'm just so tired. Did it say so on her face that she wanted me to at least smoke a cigarette or two? 


"Geez, well, I'll take your word for it." 


"Here you go." 


I got up from my seat and stepped fearfully into the kitchen. I have no taste for observing things in other people's homes. I just turned into a robot and lit a cigarette as I headed for the bottom of the exhaust fan. 


As I felt the smoke pouring into my lungs, I thought to myself, "I really wanted a cigarette". I didn't really want to smoke. I just wanted to escape from that space. 


This was the first time in my life that I had ever felt such a feeling. It disappeared into the ventilation fan. Eventually, nothing will be there, and it will be forgotten that it even existed in this world. It must be so. 


I know that this is just my own personal wish, but I can't stop wishing for it. 


Oh..... I see...


I look down and see an ashtray. Miya-san's is an electronic cigarette. So the remnants there leave a cleaner shape than the paper cigarettes I smoke. 


And it's not watered down, so I felt bad about dropping the ashes here. Fortunately, I had brought my own portable ashtray, so I clanked it toward it. 


At about the same time, the intercom rang. I could hear it well even though the ventilation fan was running. It was an entertainment office. No wonder she had a visitor or two. 


"Did you have a visitor?" 


"I guess so." 


She checked the visitor on the installed screen and pressed the unlock button without saying a word. In any case, I couldn't be there. 


So when I was about to say something to that effect - it was Miya-san who opened her mouth first. 


"Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you that I was premature." 


".........What?" 


She snickered disgustedly. 


"That girl's lesson."



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