Chapter 36
TL: Scaramochi
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[Yamamoto's POV]
It takes me a long time to dry my hair. So I really want to cut it off, but I feel like it's a waste since I've let it grow this long. It's been like that for a while now, so it's grown to just below my chest.
People mistake my hair for straight hair, but in fact, the ends are quirky. I always iron it out, but after a bath, it becomes curly and permed. I don't mind it because it's cute.
The washing machine was off, and when I opened the lid, the smell of detergent, different from that at home, escaped my nose.
I'm used to not wearing underwear, but I'm not comfortable doing so in someone's house. I would be borrowing Kanako's loungewear.
So I wanted to at least put on my underwear. I decided to pull them out and dry them with a hair dryer. It should dry quickly if it's just a piece of cloth.
A former idol drying her pants in the nude. No one could see me like this. It was so pathetic that I couldn't help but laugh.
"Cold."
I thought it would have dried at least once, so I tried to put it through, but it wasn't. Oh well. If I spend the rest of the day like this, it should dry out eventually.
Let's dry the top anyway. Every time the hot air from the hair dryer touched my hand, I felt my heart tremble. I put it on my chest, which dried faster than my pants. Yes, that's good. I feel calm.
"Thank you for the bath."
"No, thank you. Refreshing?"
"Yes. Very much so. I'd like to dry my washed clothes."
Kanako suggests, looking out the window as she says this.
"You can use the balcony. It's a beautiful sunny day. It's sunny here, so it should dry quickly."
"Thank you."
I hadn't noticed, but the living room was filled with a good smell. It reminded me of mornings at my parents' house. The mellow aroma of miso and white rice.
Kanako's loungewear was surprisingly true to size. A sweatshirt and jersey pants. I could have mistaken them for my own clothes. Thinking about it, she is also very slender and has a similar style to me. She must have been very popular in the past.
When I stepped out onto the balcony, the winter air clung to my body. But it didn't feel as oppressive as it does in summer. It was cool and the morning sun seemed to warm my heart.
However, if I stayed in the veranda for too long, the water would get cold. I quickly dried my clothes and went back to my room.
"Thanks for your hard work. Let's eat."
"Oh, you don't mind?"
"That's what I made it for."
On the table was a delicious miso soup and white rice. And there was a Japanese breakfast of salmon fillets.
It looks like they prepared it while I was soaking in the bath. I felt bad for having been treated so well. But looking at the food, I could feel my stomach growling. As if being drawn to it, I sat down in the chair.
"Come on, let's eat."
"Yes, thank you."
We sit facing each other and clasp our hands together. I wonder how long it's been since I've had breakfast at someone's house like this.
The miso soup was red miso soup. The taste was richer than white miso, and it was thick like a bitter taste spreading on the tongue. It was very addictive. When I touched the tofu, which was cut into small pieces, it added a nice accent to the soup.
Why does miso soup feel so good the day after drinking alcohol? I couldn't help but let out a gasp as I felt it dissolve the remaining alcohol in my body.
The grilled salmon fillets also melted away in my mouth. The white rice is added to the rice, leaving the aftertaste of the grilled salmon fillet. The flavors of each other mingle. The slight saltiness of the salmon whetted my appetite. Another mouthful of white rice is added.
"Fuhaaa!"
Kanako's laughter brought me back to myself.
Our eyes met, and I hurriedly swallowed the rice I was chewing.
"Oh, oh, I'm so hungry......."
"That's okay. I'm just glad you're eating."
Certainly, the person who made the food would be more pleased if they munched on it without much conversation. It's obvious that this is the person's true intention. It's much more pleasing to me than to hear someone say "It tastes good," which is a lie.
The green tea poured into the cup is also perfect for this meal. Anyway, I feel at home. Time is moving so slowly in my mind that it is hard to believe that I was crushed yesterday.
"......Oh, um..."
I gulp down my miso soup and call out to Kanako. She then looks down at her empty bowl.
"More miso soup?"
"No, no! Mooo."
"Hahaha. I'm kidding. What's wrong?"
I'm sure I still want a drink, but I can't indulge any more. I don't mean that as a refrain, but as a reminder to myself or something. I don't even know what it is.
"I don't remember...... anything about yesterday."
I put down my chopsticks and asked her. I was a little sorry to stop eating, but I was simply curious about what we were about to talk about. More than eating. So I didn't feel comfortable listening to her "while" she was talking.
"You don't even know why you're in my house, do you?"
"......I'm embarrassed."
Kanako laughed like she was dumbfounded. Or, I should say, she had to laugh. In any case, she doesn't seem to think much better of me.
"No, you can't. Miina. You're not a strong drinker."
"......Sorry."
"If it wasn't for him, you could have been touched."
I don't think I deserved to be lectured. But Kanako's voice was so gentle, it reminded me of how I felt when my mother admonished me as a child.
She was right. If it hadn't been for him, I might have been sleeping in a hotel somewhere by now.
But I drank because it was in front of him. I felt like my head was going to explode, and I called out to him with all the energy I had.
The result was this. Not only a flat tire, but the whole wheel shattered into pieces. I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't. After all, I was unable to reach a conclusion. Anyway, I feel bad for him. I should apologize to him.
"He thought you were having trouble, so he called me. Then I picked you up."
"Oh, that's right......."
"Look, I don't even know where you lives. So I brought you home."
I see. Then it seems that Kanako was worried about me in her own way. I'm so sorry that I caused her trouble in this way. I felt that even smiling bitterly and fooling around was different, so I could only bow my head.
Kanako told me, "Don't worry about it." That one word made me feel so much lighter. That's all there is to it.
"Miina, you also became like that because you were in front of him."
"No, it's not like that."
"Oh, really? Well, I don't care either way."
Anyway, I understand what happened yesterday. I'll help her clean her room when she's done eating. I'm not going to feel bad if I don't at least do that.
Half eaten rice and salmon fillets. I shoveled it into my mouth, but with a refined and careful touch. It's colder than before, and I feel a little sad.
"So, have we come to a conclusion?"
She asked me as I was advancing my chopsticks. I felt a bit deflated, as I had only planned to tell her after I had finished eating. After I finished chewing, I made eye contact with Kanako again.
"......Erm, um..."
"Think back carefully. What he said to you. What he said to you before you got drunk."
She looked as if she knew what he had said to me.
But I didn't. We were together yesterday, so it wouldn't be surprising if she had heard it directly from him. It was Kanako. I'm sure she must have questioned him in depth.
Before I got drunk. I don't remember anything after I entered the restaurant and drank a beer right away. Before that. I'm sure. That time I honestly confessed that I was scared again.
That's right. That time. I told him I was scared, and he didn't deny it, but rather accepted it.
Oh yes. I was almost drowning in his kindness, and then I was enveloped in the smell of alcohol. So even though I thought I was listening, the sole that was in the corner of my mind had completely disappeared without a trace.
But - his words are still in my heart. They are still there, deep in my heart, in the doorway.
-- At my own pace. Even if it stops.
-- It's okay to run away when it gets hard.
It shakes. My chest, my thoughts.
They sway and sway, eager to pull out the true feelings that have been sleeping inside me.
-- The accumulation of coincidences is what people call fate, you know.
Then, I wonder if it was also fate that you and me met. Because if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have thought of standing on that stage again.
So this is fate, isn't it? I quit being an idol after meeting you, and then I met you and decided to return to being an idol.
It's all because of you.
"Nah. Did you remember something good?"
"Hmmm. Yes. Very much."
I'm sure he would be offended if I said that. Very gently, but in that voice that seeps into my heart.
I want you to have my back, my feelings weren't wrong. Slowly is fine. Take my own pace. It's okay to run away. I am not alone.
All of this. All of it.
I'm too embarrassed to say that I owe it all to you.
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